Christians?..Why do I still dream...?

This may sound crazy, but because I can hide behind my keyboard ,I'm gonna ask anyways. I have been divorced 19 years,and still have deep feelings for my ex-wife. She has remarried and divorced twice since and has 3 other children by different fathers. My problem is, I still have dreams as when we were young and just had our little boy. Its a joyous time, and then I awake to reality and there is still a hole in my heart because of how life turned out. I still pray for her daily, but I know I still have faults too that were part of our problem back when. My question is, Why can't this be done with and me move on, or is God telling me to hold out ,someday she realize all that she did was in vain and return to Him first,and then reconcile our marriage?